It all comes down to congruence.
????
Good looking newbs/chodes have it HARDER than the average looking or ugly guys that have no game. Logically, this makes no sense right? But it does, there are two principles at work:
Social Pressure and Congruence
There's more of a SOCIAL EXPECTATION for the better looking guys to have better calibrated game than average/ugly looking guys because they're presumed to be more social and healthier, at the same time there's an implicit need for CONGRUENCE on this expectation.
Example: I have a friend which is super good looking, he was a model and have been overseas etc, hung out with supermodels etc yet he was getting NO PLAY AT ALL. I remember some weeks ago we went out and I saw the problem, a puzzle piece of the matrix clicked on how important congruence is. Heres what it looked like
Friend: Hey, sup
HB: Why are you talking to us? (whilst showing HEAVY IOIS)
Friend: uhh,
*poof*
Blown out. He simply wasn't CONGRUENT with being a super attractive guy which is he so girls were consequentially TURNED OFF. The same principle applies when you are PEACOCKED, think of being goodlooking as permanently peacocked, girls will give you shit tests if you up to approach them STRAIGHT AWAY to see if you're congruent with your good looks. This can damage a guy's self-image to the point where he thinks that he's UGLY from the social feedback "girls are mean!" whilst average looking guys IMO actually have an ADVANTAGE in that they won't get the congruence tests so early on to develop these self-hating beliefs. Average looking guys getting into the game also develop an awareness earlier on that their VIBE AND SUBCOMMUNICATION is what is really attracting women, not their height or genetic looks etc.
I see this a lot on the community.. most the guys here are at least above average in looks, some here are quite good looking.. some guys could be models. At first glance it doesn't make sense but take into account social pressure and congruence it makes perfect sense.
IOW, if you're an average looking guy and you are congruent with it you'll get MUCH MORE success than a SUPER HOT MODEL DUDE that is incongruent with it. Some guys just can't handle social pressure, which is why we learn PU.
IMO, the WORST combination is to be BETA but yet GOOD LOOKING at the same time for a guy. This usually leads to OVERCOMPENSATION (nice guy or jerk) it can really fuck you up (i was like this) because you think that it's something in your PERSONALITY that's flawed, like it's some deep problem and you start to really obsess over it. "I'm good looking, why is she being mean to me? Am I socially retarded? blah blah" Being beta AND goodlooking gives you mixed social feedback and you try to "fix" what's wrong with yourself.
How to get over this:
Recognize that looks/height has NO WITHSTANDING VALUE WHATSOEVER IN PICKUP. It doesn't matter, it means nothing! It means FUCK ALL. Ok you may get a SLIGHT, WAVERING, TINGE of attraction from her that makes her stay an extra 15 to 30 seconds in set when you first open, but if it takes 100% value to fuck a girl you have maybe 1-5% straight off the bat. IOW, you have a 1-5% advantage over average looking or ugly guys. THAT'S IT (which, by the way, can just as easily be taken away from you). If you want to get nerdy about this you could be advised to not let your looks get in your EGO STRUCTURE or even be CONCERNED about them from another persons point of view.
The truth is that HB10s/9s/8s/7s can have guys which are taller, better looking and more muscular than you ANY DAY (this applies to anyone..) because they're cute/hot whatever but it DOESN'T MATTER. A COOL guy is infinitely more attractive than being classically good looking. BTW when I say LOOKS don't matter, I am not saying that having a sense of individual STYLE is not important. Style, if you would, is the only external component in your looks that you should pay conscious awareness to.
IOW. If you are well groomed and dress in a way that stands out and projects WHO YOU with a sense of individuality and congruence you will blow out more models, bouncers, gangster ANY DAY.
$$$$$$$
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
LR: Kinky Sweden Goth Girl (HB7)
3/5/09
I am back sarging after a 1 week break. I simply missed sarging far too much, it's way too fun to give up on this activity and I didn't know what to do with myself on a Friday or Saturday night when I wasn't out sarging :P
LR:
Tonight the tally stands at:
3 numbers,
3 makeouts
1 lay
I wasn't feeling 100% in state and could feel that my game was a little bit rusty, manged to keep an average state throughout the night though but it wasn't fantastic.
The first number was from a 3 set where the other lair dudes helped out heaps in running interference etc, it would have been very difficult for me to keep all 3 entertained especially as this was my first warm up set. The other 2 girls left and my target and I were isolated and I built rapport, a skill that I'm focusing on at the moment to solidify numbers. My rapport game borrows JM method of making presuppostions questions intead of going AFC on her and killing her BT.
"How long have you been writing for?"
"What's the best thing about being a nurse?"
"Is accounting boring?"
ETC
90% of the time she'll correct you if you're wrong and you can go into a mini-cold read of why you felt like she'd be a nurse/writer/musican blah blah.
HB: No I'm not an accountant, why do you ask blah blah
Sep: You have greedy eyes.. (push) you look kinda smart too so I'd figure that's why (pull) etc blah blah. Girls will love you for this because you're being intuitive instead of asking a million closed ended questions.
ANYWAY..
After that set was over we go to Lenin and I wing Lamina in a set, we bounce them to the dancefloor, my girl isn't feeling it but Laminas girl is, I get her BT up by spinning her around and grinding, get the makeout and we bounce to denny's. Run more rapport game and rub her pussy underneath the table :D. My girl hits BT then drops, then hits BT, eventually they leave and I get her number.
We go back to the first bar and go directly up to my lay and talk about her piercings. The obstacle jokingly tried to pull mine out of my face(!) I was a bit alarmed: lamina could vouch for this, she was CRAZY. I pull lamina into the set but she has the bitch look going on, lamina plows but still no dice, I continue to vibe with my target and she doesn't seem to be too concerned about her friend not being instead. No big deal.
We chat for 20 minutes, go outside for a smoke. Later I find out that the obstacle wanted to hook up with this guy but didn't know where he'd gone to etc, my lay points him out and I encourage hte CB to go talk to him. She's too shy so I literally DRAG HER OVER to him.
Sep: THIS IS HBSLUT. SHE THINKS YOU'RE HOT
Chode: DUHHHH...
Done. jesus christ.
I drop my lay back at her house and we have an hour long session of kinky sex.
Things learned:
My initial kino is fine, need to work on more dominaint mid/end game kino
Rapport game is ESSIENTIAL. As soon as a girl starts trying to qualify you switch gears into rapport and drop the attraction material but leave it simmering just below the surface otherwise it's LJBF land for youuuuuuuu.
Need to qualify harder, take ownership of frame etc
I am back sarging after a 1 week break. I simply missed sarging far too much, it's way too fun to give up on this activity and I didn't know what to do with myself on a Friday or Saturday night when I wasn't out sarging :P
LR:
Tonight the tally stands at:
3 numbers,
3 makeouts
1 lay
I wasn't feeling 100% in state and could feel that my game was a little bit rusty, manged to keep an average state throughout the night though but it wasn't fantastic.
The first number was from a 3 set where the other lair dudes helped out heaps in running interference etc, it would have been very difficult for me to keep all 3 entertained especially as this was my first warm up set. The other 2 girls left and my target and I were isolated and I built rapport, a skill that I'm focusing on at the moment to solidify numbers. My rapport game borrows JM method of making presuppostions questions intead of going AFC on her and killing her BT.
"How long have you been writing for?"
"What's the best thing about being a nurse?"
"Is accounting boring?"
ETC
90% of the time she'll correct you if you're wrong and you can go into a mini-cold read of why you felt like she'd be a nurse/writer/musican blah blah.
HB: No I'm not an accountant, why do you ask blah blah
Sep: You have greedy eyes.. (push) you look kinda smart too so I'd figure that's why (pull) etc blah blah. Girls will love you for this because you're being intuitive instead of asking a million closed ended questions.
ANYWAY..
After that set was over we go to Lenin and I wing Lamina in a set, we bounce them to the dancefloor, my girl isn't feeling it but Laminas girl is, I get her BT up by spinning her around and grinding, get the makeout and we bounce to denny's. Run more rapport game and rub her pussy underneath the table :D. My girl hits BT then drops, then hits BT, eventually they leave and I get her number.
We go back to the first bar and go directly up to my lay and talk about her piercings. The obstacle jokingly tried to pull mine out of my face(!) I was a bit alarmed: lamina could vouch for this, she was CRAZY. I pull lamina into the set but she has the bitch look going on, lamina plows but still no dice, I continue to vibe with my target and she doesn't seem to be too concerned about her friend not being instead. No big deal.
We chat for 20 minutes, go outside for a smoke. Later I find out that the obstacle wanted to hook up with this guy but didn't know where he'd gone to etc, my lay points him out and I encourage hte CB to go talk to him. She's too shy so I literally DRAG HER OVER to him.
Sep: THIS IS HBSLUT. SHE THINKS YOU'RE HOT
Chode: DUHHHH...
Done. jesus christ.
I drop my lay back at her house and we have an hour long session of kinky sex.
Things learned:
My initial kino is fine, need to work on more dominaint mid/end game kino
Rapport game is ESSIENTIAL. As soon as a girl starts trying to qualify you switch gears into rapport and drop the attraction material but leave it simmering just below the surface otherwise it's LJBF land for youuuuuuuu.
Need to qualify harder, take ownership of frame etc
Friday, May 1, 2009
Value, PUA, INNER GAME.
You all have something to share with each other. It is called your humanity. Noone can take ownership of your perspective, your personality or your energy. These gifts are yours to keep and are the true reasons for why people are attracted to you. Some times I feel sad - even disillusioned that someone could reject the value that I give on a daily basis to everyone I am close to, they are missing out on a connection with somebody.
When I was much younger than I am now I was a very sensitive child; I'd cry, scream, moan, complain about everything that I didn't like. People were confusing for me as I matured, still retaining that naive sensitivity that I believe I was cursed with - then disowned it out of spite for other peoples insensitivity and vindictiveness. It has only in the past couple of months in the journey of my self-development that I have allowed this to resurface, and what a relief! I am not longer carrying this false ego structure: I no longer need reasons or excuses for why I can or cannot feel good about myself, I simply feel good all the time. I now relish in this sensitvity and powerful empathy that I have with people, it is my strength. With this sensitivity and empathetic insight you may inspire people, lead people into adventures, understand their perspective as an individual and connect on a deep, instrinic level which is a unique experience for every person.
To me, this is what game is. This is what we should all strive for as individuals: the connection to when we didn't need to have rationalizations for why we think we're valuable as people, objectivity should have no say in how you feel about yourself, perhaps there's no logic in feeling good about yourself, maybe you just choose to feel good about yourself. it's possible. It is one of the most liberating sensations in your mind when you can truly "be yourself" without fear of judgment, persecution or rejection. You simply know that you offer value to people and if someone takes negatively to your approach or your prescence it is bluntly their problem, not yours. Once you realize that noone has a say in your personal happiness except yourself, when the foundations of your self-esteem is harboured in your prescence, perspective and individuality this is where amazing things happen, because true magic is believing in yourself.
When I was much younger than I am now I was a very sensitive child; I'd cry, scream, moan, complain about everything that I didn't like. People were confusing for me as I matured, still retaining that naive sensitivity that I believe I was cursed with - then disowned it out of spite for other peoples insensitivity and vindictiveness. It has only in the past couple of months in the journey of my self-development that I have allowed this to resurface, and what a relief! I am not longer carrying this false ego structure: I no longer need reasons or excuses for why I can or cannot feel good about myself, I simply feel good all the time. I now relish in this sensitvity and powerful empathy that I have with people, it is my strength. With this sensitivity and empathetic insight you may inspire people, lead people into adventures, understand their perspective as an individual and connect on a deep, instrinic level which is a unique experience for every person.
To me, this is what game is. This is what we should all strive for as individuals: the connection to when we didn't need to have rationalizations for why we think we're valuable as people, objectivity should have no say in how you feel about yourself, perhaps there's no logic in feeling good about yourself, maybe you just choose to feel good about yourself. it's possible. It is one of the most liberating sensations in your mind when you can truly "be yourself" without fear of judgment, persecution or rejection. You simply know that you offer value to people and if someone takes negatively to your approach or your prescence it is bluntly their problem, not yours. Once you realize that noone has a say in your personal happiness except yourself, when the foundations of your self-esteem is harboured in your prescence, perspective and individuality this is where amazing things happen, because true magic is believing in yourself.
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